Trip Report: Ride The Ducks!
Newport, KY
August 7, 2010
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"Let's see it
this duck is all it's Quacked up to be"
First, a bit of
background, I was headed to Newport on the Levee to partake of Goettafest. That's one of those local festivals centered around food, in this case the local product Goetta. Since I had the day to myself, I decided to combo a
trip to Goettafest with a ride on the ducks.
Newport Ride The Ducks is a relatively new operation, started in 2008. I
believe they started in 2008 with one borrowed duck and shared resources with
the Newport Aquarium, which happens to be owned by the same people. I hadn't
gotten around to trying out the local ducks for a couple reasons. First, I had
already experienced the novelty of riding a duck in Biloxi, MS, being possibly
one of the last to ride that duck before Katrina hit, and secondly, being from
Cincinnati, how much could I really gain from a sightseeing tour of a place I
have lived 37 years? Turns out, quite a lot.
They offer several
ticketing options: phone, web, in person at both their own ticket booth in the
middle of the main outdoor area of Newport on the Levee as well as at the
Newport Aquarium. The web based system is pretty straightforward, and the
service charges of $1 (I don't know if that's per ticket or per order since I
only bought one) is pretty reasonable. The extra $1 is worth it for the peace of
mind of knowing for sure you have a seat at the time you like. Just a note for
those traveling with small children, if they are under 3 they are free, but
they still require you request a free ticket, presumably so they can keep track
of passenger count. Parking is also plentiful and located just under the levee
for about $2-$5 depending on when you visit.
I noted that they
must not put all of their tour times out for web ticketing, as the board posted
next to the ticket office had several more options than the website. Again,
presumably so that they do have tickets left for walk up or impulse sales. They
request for you to arrive at the Duck Dock about 10 minutes before your
scheduled tour. The Duck Dock is located on street level next to Third Street right
by the bus stop. If you've made it to the Levee and the Ride the Ducks ticket
booth, just take the path between Habeneros and Sweet
Dreams and go down the stairs by Johny Rockets and
you'll run right into it.
The Duck Dock
shares space with one of the most bizarre attractions I have seen (and as a
coaster enthusiast, I have seen some strange stuff at fairs): a real circus
flying trapeeze where they invite you to try your
hand at the circus aerial act. I can't imagine the waivers that go along with
that. Anyway in the same fenced in area, Ride The
Ducks has a greeter stationed in a little booth. He is there to answer any
questions, welcome guests, and assist in the loading of the ducks. One
important thing to note is he can't sell tickets, so bear that in mind. So I
entered the fenced off area, and was directed to a shade tent with benches
until my tour time.
I had the noon
tour, and around 11:45 we see a duck return and, just like Disney, people dash
for the boarding area. The greeter tried to tell people that they wouldn't be
loading for another 10 minutes, so why not enjoy the shade instead of standing
out in the sun. They have a roped off area directly behind the greeters station
where they have the next group line up, and before we boarded te greeter made note that although they don't try to get
you wet, there is the chance of getting wet on the ride, and that due to the
design of the craft, those in the back rows have a bigger chance of getting wet
than those in the front. Choose your seat accordingly.
After that the
greeter hands out toys to all passengers that they have dubbed "Wacky Quackers" It's trademarked, just look on the bottom of
your Wacky Quacker. This is basically a yellow
plastic duck call in the shape of a duck's beak. As you might imagine, they
have the inherent property that whomever is handed one
can't resist trying them out. Those around me commented that when you have
about 20 of these in one place, the sound is similar to the noisemakers used at
World Cup games. I'm not sure about using white writing on the lime green
lanyards, as it is quite hard to see. One suggested use is as a way to wake
people up who are oversleeping, like your teens back home,
Having
been properly outfitted it is time to commence boarding procedures. Here is hwere you hand in your tickets, and exit through a gate out
onto third street. There is a somewhat unusual
situation as you are boarding from a city street, so watch out for those
pedestrians as you head to the duck. On the way to the duck, you (or your
group) is asked to stand alongside the duck and pose
for the camera. They use a strange pose where you are supposed to hold your
right hand out, palm up. This is for reasons that aren't apparently clear at
the time. You are advised that stopping for a photo is not optional.
After your photo,
you are asked to walk around to the back of the duck, climb the ladder, and
find a seat. While waiting for the ride to begin they have the Ride the Ducks
theme song playing on the speakers, its one of those
songs that's purposely designed to roll around in your head for hours if not
days after the ride ends. So one by one, people get photos, and board the duck.
Once the entire group is on boad, the boarding ladder
is raised so the tour may begin.
After the welcomes,
where you are introduced to your captain and your guide, come the safety
announcements. First off are the required notices you get whenever you ride on
a tour boat - life jacket and evacuation procedures. They have said jackets in
two rows running all the way from the front to the back of the duck on each
side, with children's sizes on one side, and adult on the other. Then the land
based safety announcements about being mindful to keep everything inside the
duck, don't stick anything outside the windows, to remain seated during the
land portion of the tour, and to be mindful of any winds that may steal hats
and glasses. With that, the tour can begin. The narration, as you might expect,
does contain just about every bad Duck or Quack pun they can think of, as well
as some humorous, maybe not quite accurate stories they call Duck Tales.
The tour starts on
3rd street and heads right across what used to be the Central Bridge into Ohio.
Here is where you have the icebreakers about where everybody is from, and who
traveled the furthest to get here. A family from Pittsburgh won that, with
almost all of the other passengers being locals. We didn't have a full load,
but it had a nice size group. From there you drive around the base of US Bank
Arena on your way to the Public Landing. Not much to see in that stretch, so
they play a little music and our guide announces that our captain is very
excited, he's been practicing with the ducks all summer, and today is his first
trip with passengers, thanks to that license he got from a box of Captain Crucnh, where else do you get a captain's license.
After the laughter
dies down, they assure you your captain is,i
fact, a certified captain. You start to roll down the Public Landing and they stop, this tie for the water tour safety instructions. One ou tour, we were advised to brace yourself on the seat in
front of you for the plunge into the water, and of course to make as much noise
as you can. We had attracted the attention of a couple families who were
sightseeing from Public Landing. The dads turned to their children, motioned
towards the duck with a "Watch This"
expression.
There is a pause
where they put out a call on the radio, and then blow the air horn before
entering the water. We are advised that most boats have the engine in the rear,
but ducks have the engine in the front, which means they have to enter the
water with a bit of speed. The front has a windshield that flips up to help
deflect the huge splash that occurs when the duck hits water. In truth the
splashdown isn't really rough or jerky, just a bit unnerving to just drive
right into the river.
After a few seconds
for everybody to realize that, yes, we really are floating,
they put Rolling on The River on the sound system, and begin the water tour.
Points of interest
on the water tour are the Showboat Majestic, the last surviving showboat, they mentioned the upcoming show schedule and a
bit of the history. It was owned by one family with 11 children. Between them,
they would play all the parts, so they had no need of outside actors or other
help. Legend has it the boat is haunted when the husband jumped overboard.
Next up is US Bank
Arena - home to your Kelly Cup champion Cyclones, and also the second to last
place Elvis played before he died (the last place being Market Square Arena).
Then its the riverboat memorial, a free
attraction that consists of a giant paddle wheel mounted over a ring of
smokestacks. If you can solve the puzzle and visit the smokestacks in the right
order, the stacks blow and calliope music plays.
you
then pass Great American Ballpark, but there is more on that with the land
tour. They did note that the smokestacks in centerfield (where the home run
fireworks come from) have 14 bats on top, one of the stadiums numerous subtle
tributes to Pete Rose. They also pointed out the Tundra truck that can be won
by a fan if it ges hit during the game. Apparently,
it has never been hit by a home run ball during a game, but it has seen some
abuse during batting practice. If not won in that manner, it will be given away
on Fan Appreciation Night. The interesting this is, they hand you the keys, how
do you get it home?
The tour then
passes under the Roebling Suspension Bridge,
originally wood decked, but now has a steel grate deck that is known as the
Singing Bridge. They pointed out the tarps we see are from a sandblasting and
repainting effort, and the particular shade of blue the bridge is painted has
been named Robeling Blue by the paint company. They
talked about how the suspension bridge was a fairly novel concept when it was
built. At first it wasn't finished because it was built around the tie of the
Civil War, and they didn't want any easy access between the North and the
South. When it was finished the people didn't trust the new style bridge
design. The ducks version of the story goes that they hired PT Barnum to parade
his elephants back and forth across the bridge to show it was safe, the bridge
climb version of the story says they got people to walk across the bridge by
offering free beer in the center of the bridge.
A bit further down,
and its Paul Brown Stadium, where they noted that due to the land, they built
the stadium as far out and as high as they could, to maximize seating, but they
still wanted ore seating, so they claim the football field sits 10 feet under
water level, and the stadium is equipped with pumps to keep the water from
flooding the stadium.
Shortly after Paul
Brown Stadium you turn around, and they point out the murals that line
Covington Landing, and show off the new ritzy Ascent. It's
condos, its designed to pay tribute to the bridge nearby, and the cheapest
condo in the building (ground floor) is around 800 thousand. The most expensive
was the penthouse which Ken Griffy Jr sold recently for upwards of 5 million.
We then go past
Riverboat Row, a row of historic houses alongside the river on the Kentucky
side. It's noted that they are all historic landmarks, so any alterations and
rehab work must be approved by the historic district. It was noted that they
occasionally offer public tours and that some of the houses still contain
secret rooms from their former use on the underground
railroad.
Then the
interactive part of the tour begins, no I'm not talking about the Wacky Quackers but this is the captain's break time. Essentially
this is where they let the "Kid Captains", meaning any children who
are interested, to try their hand at 'driving the duck' for a short time. As an
added bonus, if you send your camera up with the child, the captain will get a
photo for you. So some time is spent while the lineup of
children each have had their 15-30 seconds of fame as a duck Kid
Captain. After the Kid Captains are finished the real captain explains the
reason they are able to offer this opportunity is that you may have noticed the
amazing speed at which ducks travel in water, approximately 6mph. Plenty of time for the captain to intervene, particularly
when you are cruising in the center of an empty part of the river.
This was when we
got to learn a bit about the craft itself. The DUKW, designed in the 1940's as
a troop transport vehicle in WWII. Their ducks differ from those used in the
military as they have been lengthened to allow more seats to be added,
cushioned front facing seats have replaced two long side facing wooden benches,
the canvas canopy has been replaced with a more substantial canopy, and the
machine gun mount has been removed from approximately where the tour guide
sits. The other trivia is that they were manufactured primarily by women, in the
Rosie the Riveter era where the women took the places in the factories of the
men who had been shipped off to war. Our guide didn't miss the chance to chime
in that since they were built by women who actually read and followed the
assembly manual, these 1942 vehicles are still
operating today for your enjoyment. I note their website claims they make all
their own ducks from the ground up, so I'm not sure I'm buying the "this
1942 vehicle you are riding in" line. Anyway to round this back around,
due to the slow nautical speed, these were used mainly for troop and supply
transport out of combat zones as if they were encountered by the enemy, they
would be a, you guessed it, sitting duck. They attributed the ducks to the
origin on that saying.
We then passed by
another of their ducks, one with a low serial number, an
we were informed that duck was different then the one
we were riding in, we could note it rides lower, is shorter, and was actually
used in the training for Normandy.
Focusing back on
the shorelines, they of course pointed out the Newport Aquarium, which they
also own, and how it was designed to look like a viking ship, and also pointed out the helicopter
tours and the BB Riverboats. In other words, they did a pretty good job cross
promoting the area's other attractions, case in point they put in a plug for Goettafest.
You then cross back
to the Ohio side of the river, and they point out the Serpentine Wall, and how
it has 13 steps, one for each of the colonies, at which point you come back around
to the Public Landing, they note use of the public landing as a boat ramp and
as parking is free, but it might not be the best parking as you have to be
mindful of the markings. When the river rises some of
the lower rows of parking can go underwater, leading to some expensive tow and
repair bills for supposed FREE parking.
At this point you
roll back up the Public Landing boat ramp out of the water. We were asked if we
wanted the special Tidal Wave splash effect, but were later told that was only
a duck tale, and that as hot as its been, the guide
would have welcomed any chance to get wet.
Back on land you
drive around the other side of US Bank Arena, get a closer look at the paddle
wheel sculpture, "Take me Out to the Ballgame" plays as you pass Great
American Ball Park, you are then told you will be rounding third and heading
for home. That was Joe Nuxall's signature sign off.
The special RED street sign for Joe Nuxall Way is
pointed out, then the Rose Garden where the white rose marks where Pete Roses 4192 hit landed. The Joe Nuxall
statue in Crosley Terrace is pointed out, as is the
Hall of Fame and Museum. It is also part of a combo deal they are offering: a
Duck ride, Newport Aqauarium, Reds Hall of Fame, and
a ticket to a Red's game, all for $48.
Across the street
we can see construction, finally, beginning on the Banks Project. Supposedly
they have already built what will be the worlds
largest underground parking garage, and it will soon have condos, shops,
restaurants, and other entertainment, with the Christian Morlein
Barrel House signed on as the first tenant.
They point out our
newest skyscraper, with the Tiara on top. So built since we
are the queen city. It is pointed out the tiara is actually in the
design of that for a princess, but the designers liked the look of it the best.
It will stand about 86' taller than the Carew Tower. It was pointed out that
for just a few bucks you can ride an elevator to the top of the Carew Tower for
a great view of the city.
We turn the corner
and drive past the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center. The exterior
is brown copper whih will eventually turn green, and
is actually three smaller buildings each connected by gateways. The first
gateway is built to line up right with the suspension bridge.
You then make a
turn onto Vine Street, and begin the downtown Cincinnati part of the tour.
During the week they say the people along the street look less than
enthusiastic because they have to work, and you get to have all this fun. So
they drive through downtown Cincinnati, blasting YMCA on the sound system and
asking you to participate with the Wacky Quackers.
You turn onto Fifth
and they point out Fountain Square, then Government Square, before asking if
anybody had a banana today, then pointing out the Chiquita building, the Taft
Theatre and Procter and Gamble. Yes, they included the story about the origin
on Ivory Soap. At this point I think I saw visions of the P&G PR guy
running out to the duck with a crisp $20 for the guide. Then its
Pike to fourth, and the point out the Taft Museum,
Lytle Park, the copper boat on the Western And Southern building, before
heading back town towards the river. They point out the Western and Southern
parking garage which is noteworthy as it is on the former site of the Ft.
Washington ammo magazine.
You then head back
to Central Bridge to return to Newport. They ask if anybody on this tour is
from Kentuky, and if they got wet, then used the
Kentucky joke that you've taken care of your annual bath requirement, you can
get the captain to sign off on that at the the end of
the tour. Speaking of Kentucky, something you might want to know, it's illegal
to put an ice cream cone in your pocket. Not because they are afraid it might
melt, but the cones were used as bait by people stealing other's horses. We
were advised this will come up later in the tour.
We talked a bit
about the 1937 flood, and how it was recorded as 79.99 feet to prevent a bonus
payout by the insurance companies who would have had to pay a much higher rate
on a flood of 80' or more. You then come to the World peace Bell, the worlds largest free swinging bell.
They rang it once and it could be heard for miles around and shattered all
kinds of windows. Now instead of the intended daily noon ringing, it's only run
on important days at about 1/20th the original volume.
You circle the
square, and pass the Syndicate, which was once and is again a Newport
nightclub. It was noted how this was Vegas before Vegas and how all the
headline acts of the days used to play there. They noted the Gangsters Tour the
Syndicate offers as a way of telling their history. We wind down the tour with
talk about Cincinnati style chili (Skyline, Gold Star or Dixie depending on
your 'religious preference') which is of course follwed
up by a stop at Graeters Ice Cream, which was pass next. "And what won't you do with your ice cream
cone?"
Then its just a block more to return to
the Levee. Here is where they thank you for taking the ride, do a not-too-hard
Tip Beg for the tour guide, and encourage you to look at your pictures after
you leave the duck. They also inform you that by showing your Wacky Quacker, you can get 10% off at both the
Welcome Center (AKA their ticket booth and gift shop) or Sweet Dreams.
With that you pull
onto Third, the stairs are lowered, people make an orderly exit as the captain
and guide help people unload, add their personal thanks (and accept tips, but
this is usual and customary for tour guides on any kind of tour bus) You then
step off the sidewalk right towards the photo pick up area. They don't have
monitors to preview pictures, so while you are on your ride, they print
everybody's complete photo pakage, which is available
for $20 cash to the attendant.
And then everybody
parts and goes their seperate ways.